Friday, February 19, 2010

Short Kimono Buy Please Revise This Short Pargarph Its Urgent?

Please revise this short pargarph its urgent? - short kimono buy

To give presents to foreigners the impression that the beneficiaries of those who give the meaning. People in general no longer exotic souvenir. When, after Canada and stayed with a family, I wish that the gifts represent my country. Alex, my father's parents' house, admiring the gifts, because he can not buy at a local mall. In 2005, a group of Japanese students stayed home for three days to a Western lifestyle experience. He has my family Petite dolls wear kimonos, Japanese chip bags, and a special brush that is not sold in Canada. I can not forget the elegant gifts that I received. When I was in Japan, I highly appreciate the donations from students, but I do not know, were precious gifts for me. Receivers always remember, exotic gifts.

2 comments:

lilangel... said...

As for his own work? It is the "homework" not "type in their work and others do it for you" It's really hard to do .. He looked at me. I'll give you some ideas though. 1. Use a different word for recipients and donors. You talk as if I was in elementary school. 2. Do not use the word "rule" there is a consensus that does not know, have been taken to be true or not. 3. Stay at the same time, "Keep the Change (otherwise it could be - in the past 4.) The sentence beginning with" additional "is a stroke penalty. 5 If you are Japanese-chips, then you must spell the word potato, not only chips 6th Can not be bought, you should instead use "not sold" 7 WattsPatients who can not "instead of" not "and add the sentence 8 Use of" remember "is not necessarily wrong, but there are strange noises in this regard. In the general context well, it looks more like high school instead of elementary. Of course, you know what they are able to speak and write - but it's laziness ...

dustandr... said...

I do not know how the first sentence to make "donations" and then "Enter" and then "get" immediately after the other, and then you have a "donor" once again - all in the same Sentance. You should take a thesaurus and find different words with different meanings.

Here: "If you receive a gift from aliens to leave the impression that he was sincerely respect you."

"In general, do not remember the people, exotic. \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ U0026lt - This statement is to dramatically

This "more often than people remember, exotic gifts they receive in your life."

"When I was in Canada and stayed with a family ..." \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ U0026lt - were "sleeping" and "Family"Just after the other.

Here: "When I was in Canada and lived in a family ..."

Here: Alex - Dad Family - admired the gifts such as "may" (\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ u0026lt;)-past, not "can not" (\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ u0026lt;-present)

And remember to have the comma after 2005: "In 2005, a group of ..."

Too much a comma splice comma means ". When I was in Japan, I highly appreciate the donations from students, but I do not know, were precious gifts for me.

Here: "When I was in Japan, I appreciate the donations of the top students. However, I have no presents for me have been exquisite."



That's all I think, I hope not too confusing.

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